Confessions of Love
by Desslok
Summary: Shoujo-ai. Short, one-shot, playing around with literary conventions


"Confessions of Love" by Desslok  
-------------------------------------  
  
"So, you love her?" [matter of fact]  
  
"I think so." [resigned]  
  
"And not just as a friend, I take it." [curious]  
  
"That, but also more than that. I think about her all the time.   
It's like from that moment I first met her, she's had a little   
place inside my head. She's so beautiful." [sigh]  
  
"Well, I don't mean it in quite the same way you do, but yes, she   
is a very beautiful girl." [objective]  
  
"And she's sweet and loving and caring. I mean, how could I not   
fall in love with her?" [plaintive]  
  
"Does it bother you?" [curious again]  
  
"What, that I'm in love with my best friend, or that I'm in love   
with another woman?" [seeking clarity]  
  
"The last part." [clarifying]  
  
"It did. It does. I don't know. I guess it means that I'm gay,   
but if that's what it means to love her, than how can it bother   
me? Loving her is the most natural thing in the world." [trying   
to explain the inexplicable]  
  
"That's so sweet! I wish someone thought of me like that."   
[longing]  
  
"I'm sure someone does, or will." [reassuring]  
  
"Why don't you just tell her?" [stating the obvious]  
  
"Because I'm scared. As long as I don't say anything, I can love   
her and it's almost perfect. Once I tell her, then everything is   
up in the air and it can never be perfect like this again."   
[admitting]  
  
"You're losing me..." [confused]  
  
"I know her. I know she wouldn't be angry. She'd try to   
understand. Heck, she'd probably be all worried about me and try   
to comfort me. I couldn't take that. No matter how much she   
tried, everything would be different and I don't want that."   
[resigned]  
  
"But, what if she loves you too, the same way you love her?"   
[probing]  
  
"If she did, wouldn't she have said something by now?" [resigned]  
  
"Are you even listening to yourself, baka! She's probably got   
the same stupid hang-ups that you do. You say you know her so   
well. Tell me, does she love you?" [exasperated]  
  
"I... I don't know." [uncertain]  
  
"Fine. Might she love you?" [patient]  
  
"I guess it's possible." [reluctant]  
  
"Think about how things are now. I know you don't want things to   
change, but, what if she loves you too? Wouldn't it be so much   
better, so wonderful and perfect, that it's worth the chance that   
things will change in a bad way?" [pleading]  
  
"I don't want to hurt her." [scared]  
  
"How could telling her you love her hurt her? Are you sure you   
really don't want to hurt yourself? But, if she does love you   
than she's suffering just as much as you are! You're hurting her   
by not telling her how you really feel." [determined]  
  
"Do you think there's a chance she might love me the way I love   
her?" [reluctantly hopeful]  
  
"I think she might, Mako-chan. I think you owe it to both of you   
to give her the chance."  
  
"You're right, Mina-chan. Thanks, for everything."  
  
--------------------------------  
  
"So, you love her." [confirmation]  
  
"Yes. I've tried to avoid it, but I can't any more." [defeated]  
  
"Why do you act as though this is a bad thing?" [leading]  
  
"It's not right. This is not the way things are supposed to be."   
[precise]  
  
"According to who?" [annoyed]  
  
"You don't understand. I have a plan for my life. Yes, I had to   
change it once I discovered who I am, but still, I have a plan.   
I don't have time for love." [business-like]  
  
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who in the   
world creates a life plan with no room for love in it?" [loud]  
  
"Is there room for love in your life plan?" [wry]  
  
"We're not here to talk about me! You've been acting strange and   
mopey and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. You'll just have   
to change your plan again." [commanding]  
  
"It's not that easy. I have no reason to believe that she   
returns my feelings." [backpedaling]  
  
"You know, for someone so smart.... Do you have any reason to   
believe that she doesn't?" [logical]  
  
"I don't want to disrupt our group for my own selfish reasons."   
[grasping]  
  
"But you have been. You both have been. Don't you think that we   
can't tell? You know when I'm upset about something, don't you?   
Didn't we have almost this same exact conversation a year ago   
about you-know-who?" [leading]  
  
"I suppose that's true, but then why can't I tell if she feels   
the same way?" [confused]  
  
"For the same reason you can't predict your own future. I know   
that you don't understand or even believe, but these are the   
things I devote my life to understanding. Even the most adept   
psychics are barred from reading themselves. Otherwise, we'd all   
be rich." [wistful]  
  
"But, I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about her."   
[explanatory]  
  
"Is there a difference? With a love that has so much potential,   
the lines are quite blurry. You are each your own person, but   
together, you could be something far greater than the individual   
pieces." [visionary]  
  
"It's all so confusing." [dejected]  
  
"No, it's really quite simple. You're just thinking too much.   
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Trust in your love and in   
your friendship to guide you beyond that point. Until that   
happens, nothing will change and you'll remain as you are."   
[caring]  
  
"I'm scared." [considering possibilities]  
  
"I know you are, Ami-chan. Love is a scary thing, but it is also   
a wonderful thing. Don't let your fear control you. Talk to   
her."  
  
"I'll think about it, Rei-chan."  
  
----------------------------  
"Ami-chan, there's something I want to tell you."  
  
"Ok, Mako-chan. There's something I wanted to talk to you about   
as well."  
  
"Oh, well, you can go ahead."   
  
"No, you go first, please."   
  
"Ami-chan... I... I love you. I've loved you for a very long   
time now, and not just as a friend. I haven't wanted to say   
anything, but I couldn't hold it back any more."  
  
"Oh Mako-chan!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I know you probably..."  
  
"I love you too, silly!"  
  
"You do??"  
  
"Of course I do! Oh Mako-chan, I love you so much!"  
  
----------------------------  
  
"You mean you and she had the same exact talk that we did?"  
  
"Looks like it. What are we going to do with those two?"  
  
"Well, they'd better get it sorted out, especially after putting   
the rest of us through all this!"  
  
"Speaking of which, Rei-chan, there's something I wanted to talk   
to you about." [cautiously optimistic]  
  
"Really? I'm glad, Mina-chan, because I needed to talk to you,   
too." [shyly triumphant] 


End file.
